Less surviving. More living.

My clients struggle like you do. They care a lot, feel deeply, and work really hard at everything-work, home, in their relationships-

BUT they also have strong reactions that feel right and make sense in the moment… but make things worse, often feeling more guilty, alone and misunderstood than before.

They feel helpless, because as hard as they have worked to do things differently or overcome challenges (maybe even traumatic “stuff”) life doesn’t feel stable and like what you’ve worked for could be lost at any moment.

They worry that if people really knew what they were thinking or feeling, they would be judged, misunderstood, and maybe even leave.

They know something needs to change, they just need help figuring where and how.

When they first come to therapy, they are relieved to find out that there are REASONS they are reacting the way the are that make sense. That there are many different ways to approach healing, and they can make choices on what that looks like so it feels like its designed for them. They learn that they can be themselves AND they don’t have to hide or carry your secrets or burdens alone.

When clients leave therapy, they have learned they can give yourself what YOU need, even if you didn’t or can’t get it from others? They learn going “faster” doesn’t mean quicker healing. They learn that talking about their past, family or relationships isn’t disloyal.. Talking about the really hard stuff isn’t priority if it throws us into survival mode. Instead, they experience that talking about family or other high anxiety topics can get easier if done. You’ve worked hard enough by yourself. I am ready to help you find the stepping stones you need to take the new steps.

You may be wondering to yourself…there are people who have it much worse then me….

AND, that doesn’t mean that we can’t be overwhelmed and learn to do things to try to keep a sense of safety and closeness to others. Maybe it isn’t trauma to you and that’s only for you to decide.

This approach to therapy can still be what you need to heal your thought stuff. You want someone you know can handle you and the parts of your story you keep hidden.

Doo you do any of the following, even without doing it on purpose?

• try to “control” the situation and others

• agree to things just to keep the peace

• feel on guard and unable to relax

• seek ways to “check out” or “zone out”

• feel responsible for others emotions

• still feel an empty feeling that there is something wrong or you look crazy… so maybe you are?

• repeat/replay what happened over and over to see how you could have done things differently

• you say or do things you didn’t want too and regret later after the moment has passed

• Try to numb or not feel with help from tv, video games, food, substances or risk taking.

  These are all ways to cope with BIG stuff and BIG feelings when the coping skills we developed or that work for “others”, aren’t enough.

  That’s where our work helps you understand WHAT these behaviors and coping skills are doing so we can figure out what else you NEED to make the shift into ways you choose to feel better.

  We will get you to new ways of understanding what’s going on underneath that simple solutions just aren’t cutting it. Once we shift from the "I have tried everything” to a “I do this when ___________, it is THEN that we can do the work of figuring out how we can find other ways that fit YOU, your life and where you deserve to be.